The Wiles of the Weasley Women
by The PinK BandiT
Summary: Lorcan likes Dom. Lucy hates Dom. So naturally he asks her for advice, and they fall in love like a cheesy eighties chick flick. Inspired by Something Wonderful.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Scarf Attack

"Pleeeeaase! Come on Lorcan I'll never ask for anything ever again!" Dominique begged, using her stunning blue eyes and a few eyelash bats to woo him into submission.

Lorcan stood there unfazed. He'd been through such trails before. In fact, it was becoming more of a weekly basis sort of thing.

"As if Dom. Ten minutes from now you'll just be asking me for something else! Besides, you know that your puppy dog look hasn't worked on me since you were twelve." This was the breaking point. If he could just hold out a few minutes longer he might be able to unwrap himself from around her finger and…

"But Lorcan," she added seductively, grabbing one end of his scarf. "It's just one _teensy_," she whispered close to his ear. "_Weensy_," she breathed on the back of his neck, sending shivers down his spine. "_Little_ favor." She finished walking a circle around him and pulled his now unwound scarf from around his neck with a flick of her wrist. And he had been so close!

"Alright fine! But just this once. And if you ever tell anyone that I let you smuggle fire whiskey into the castle, I WILL tell your father of all your dastardly little deeds. And that includes the mandrake incident in Professor Neville's class." He warned threateningly.

Dominique just smirked, satisfied that she had won. She blew him a kiss and whispered something to the effect of, "My hero!" before turning on her heels, and skipping happily away with his scarf.

"I was serious about the telling!" he called after her.

"No you weren't!" she called cheerfully back, turning her head to flash him her famous vela influenced smile. Most guys called it the Deathtrap. Because the second she flashed those pearly whites, BOOM! Your heart was gone, self-respect and responsibilities all thrown out the window. Whatever you were thinking before didn't matter. Because from then on, you belonged to Dom.

Lorcan sighed. He ran a hand through his short cropped blonde hair and continued to watch her slowly shrinking form slink down the hall. He loved the way her long blonde hair swayed as she stepped daintily down the hall, and continued to stare until she had rounded the corner. Dominique Weasley. Now THAT was what a woman looked like.

Unfortunately, she was way out of his league. Sure, Lorcan was popular with the ladies what with his tall stature, dirty blonde hair and warm blue eyes, but he was still a Ravenclaw which made him a first rate nerd. And undesirable to a certain gorgeous, French speaking, half vela. He was whipped. And she wasn't even his.

But that's just how it was. Dom got to date whoever she wanted while he was stuck pining over her while doing all of her dirty work. Well he had had enough! Lorcan set off down the hall more determined than before. He was going to win himself a Weasley woman. And not just any Weasley. Dominique Weasley.

He didn't really know how to woo a woman, considering he'd only had two relationships. Each had lasted less than a few months, and both nearly a year or more ago. How did you go about wooing the most popular girl in school? Getting inside her head he supposed. But how to do that?

Suddenly the answer dawned on him, and he began to feel sick to his stomach. Who would know more about Dom than her favorite cousin/frenemy? But getting that information meant talking to the one person Lorcan feared in the entire school. A strange beast called…

"Lucy Weasley." He muttered. She was 40% attitude, 60% moxie, and 100% certifiably insane. She was also the one person in the school who knew exactly what made Dom tick. Lorcan braced himself. Life was about to get very interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry I know it's short. You'll live.**

"I'm sorry, you want me to do what?" asked Lucy in disbelief. She slammed her books onto the library table and unpacked them noisily, daring anyone in the room to shush her. No one did.

"Please Lucy! We used to be such great mates remember? All I'm asking is that you help me get inside of her head so that I can figure out how to woo her!" He begged desperately, his voice only slightly louder than a whisper. Lucy might be able to get away with being noisy, but he wasn't willing to risk it.

Lucy turned to face him and gagged. "Woo her? She's a monster! She's much more complex than one of your essay topics or books Lorcan. She is a human being with feelings, evil ones I'm sure, but feelings none the less. Are you sure that your ready to step that far out of your books to service her every need, wait on her hand and foot, and possibly even give up study time for?" She was teasing, but Lorcan was serious when he replied with a firm yes.

She sighed. "Fine. But what's in it for me?" Lorcan immediately stopped smiling. He hadn't thought of that bit.

"umm… well I could tutor you I suppose…" he started lamely.

"Top of my class."

"Carry your books?"

"I've already got that covered."

"Personal slave for a week?"

"Got that too."

"What could you possibly want?" He asked exasperated, finally raising his voice. One dirty look from Lucy stopped anyone from shushing him.

"We'll just have to leave it as a IOU I suppose. I'll let you know what want when I think of it. Do we have a deal?" She asked as she held out her hand for a shake. He nodded. Hopefully it wouldn't be too dreadful. No matter, Dominique was worth it!

"Deal!" he said proudly, taking her hand and shaking it. He certaintly hoped he knew what he was doing. After all, he had just sold his soul to none other than Lucy Weasley.

…

Lorcan waited patiently outside of the Ravenclaw portrait. She had said midnight hadn't she? Or maybe it was twilight? He hoped he would find out before Filch found him.

Luckily for him, Lucy was just a bit late. "Sorry 'bout that. Are you ready for some espionage?" She asked, brimming with excitement. Her red curls were pulled back into a braid, and her clothes seemed to melt into the shadows of the hallway.

"what are you wearing?" he asked curiosly, reaching out to rub abit of the should in between his fingers. The fabric was thin, and seemed hard to focus on, as though all you wanted to do was look away.

"Enchanted clothing. Present from Uncle George when after I beat his maurading record. I've snuck out six hundred and twenty three times and only gotten caught twice. Impressive yeah?" she smirked knowigly. Lorcan just smirked and rolled his eyes. Typical Weasley.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow I haven't updated this story in sooo long. Sorry to anyone following. Thanks so much to anyone reading this, and I hate to be annoying but constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Special thanks to Sapphira Weasley because you favorited this and I haven't even finished writing it yet! Easily made my day!**

Chapter 3: The Power of the Awkward Moment

"So what's the plan Lucy?" Lorcan asked as he followed Lucy down the long corridor.

"Well, you wanted to get inside the mind of Dominique Weasley right?" she asked, turning to look at him as she walked.

"Well, yeah, but how-"

"She keeps a diary," she stated matter of factly. Lorcan looked surprised.

"Dom Weasley keeps a diary? She doesn't really seem like the type. Are you sure?" he asked, suddenly wondering if asking Lucy for help had been such a good idea. Dominique Weasley was a complex and deep woman. Surely she didn't stoop to chronicaling in a diary like a first year.

"Lorcan, do you know anything at all about girls? Of course she has a diary. She's vapid. Plus, when we were ten I stole it and gave it to the boy she liked. Seems only fitting that I do it again." Lucy strutted down the hall confidently as though she had said nothing unusual at all.

"You mean you've done this before?" Lorcan asked, surprised and genuinely curious.

Lucy nodded. "I did it again last year too, but the guy just wanted to get in her pants so I chained him to the roof of the girls bathroom. Moaning Myrtle was none too pleased!" She added, giggling quietly.

Suddenly, a pair of voices wafted toward the two marauders from around the corner. Thinking fast, Lorcan pulled Lucy into a small alcove where he often caught people making out on his prefect patrols. There was barely enough room for the two of them, and somehow Lucy and Lorcan ended up pressed together, her forehead bumping against his nose.

"Well this is a bit akwar-" Lucy cut him off by clamping a hand over his mouth. The voices stopped outside of their hiding place, effectively trapping them until they passed.

Lucy looked straight into his eyes and mouthed "Don't move, don't speak," then slowly removed her hand from his mouth.

Of all the people to get stuck with, Lorcan really wasn't that bad. He smelled nice, kind of like Ivory soap and a hint of orange peels. His breath from his nose kept blowing baby strands of hair into her face, but at least it was minty fresh. Suddenly she felt warm and uncomfortable. That was weird.

Finally the voices faded away and the two stumbled and squished out of their hiding place.

"That was fun," remarked Lorcan sarcastically. Lucy snorted, and motioned for him to keep following her. Together they rounded the corner and finally arrived at their destination: the Hufflepuff House entrance.

**Just to clarify, because I know I always get curious, Dom and Lorcan are sixth years and Lucy is a fifth year. P.S. do you guys want me to drag this out or make it shorter?**


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